Post-It Note Tuesday - The Work Addition

I am in "love" with this idea - click on the post-it above to play!

Too Much

I have been trying to think of something wonderful to say - and it's just not happening. Too much on my mind to be able to really focus on one thing and expound on it.

So I leave you this: MercyMe - Homesick


You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for You
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with You

I close my eyes and I see Your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand Your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if You showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see Your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't You give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbyes
And in Christ, there is no end
So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have

To see You again
To see You again

And I close my eyes and I see Your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't You give me strength to make it through somehow

Won't You give me strength to make it through somehow
Won't You give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

It's no wonder

why is it that any time I have something planned for me, he turns into an ass. Making me feel guilty or wrong for wanting to go and do. EVERY FREAKING TIME! It doesn't matter if it is with his friend's wife (as today) or for my work or just me.

I am sitting here with tears running down my face because he has made me feel like I am 2 feet tall - and I shouldn't let him do that to me. The tears are also because once again my 5 yo walks in and is caught in the middle.

It is no wonder I want to give up & run away.

PS - I ended up running errands with the girls instead of what was planned. If I stayed in the house WWIII was about to commence -and I felt a little better getting out of the house. By the time evening rolled around things had calmed down although he was still being an ass.

The Red Carpet & MeMe

This past week (or was it two weeks?? - I have lost track of time!) I was honored with two more blog awards. The first one really set the tone of this award show. I am most at home in a T, jeans, and tennis shoes; but when I received this gem from the lovable Erin M over at The Mother Load, I couldn't help but feel like I needed to break out of that stereotype and pull on some fancier duds.
{scroll past the award show for the Sunday Stealing Meme}

What do you think? Will this dress go with these ....

You must check out Erin - the way she writes is UNBELIEVABLE (it runs in her family!) and she is one of the sweetest, most honest people I have met. *smooches dear*

Now on to the award. The envelope please:

The Silver Shoe of Sincerity

and the winner is . . .

and

OUR FINAL AWARD (I act like there were SO many)

Ending the evening (err morning) out with this award that was bestowed upon me by Holly @ 504 Main. Holly is a very talented woman, who not only has a blog that gives you wonderful, simple craft ideas, she is an author!!! She has published 3 wedding themed books and has a new one due out in December!!!!

May I have the envelope please (darn it girls give me that envelope, hey come back here) ....

The Friendly Blogger Award goes to:

Picture Imperfect

Every Day in Gray

(sorry I didnt make you a button)

Actually all my followers are super friendly, and I hate leaving anyone out - so if you have yet to receive this award, please feel free to grab it for yourself! You all make this worth while!

XO

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Cheers to all us thieves! click on the Meme title to play along!

Sunday Stealing: The Strange Question Meme, Part 1

1. What is the color of your toothbrush? Purple n White

2. Name one person who made you smile today. Goose & Ducky

3. What were you doing at 8 am this morning? it's not 8 yet, on Sat I was refereeing the girls

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? trying to get Goose back to sleep

5. What is your favorite candy bar? Reese PB Cup or Almond Joy (I have to s p r e a d the wealth)

6. Have you ever been to a strip club? yeah in college

7. What is the last thing you said aloud? GO BACK TO SLEEP GOOSE

8. What is your favorite ice cream? How to choose? depends on my mood - Choc PB, Praline n Cream, Orange - Vanilla Twist

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? Water

10. Do you like your wallet? it's a little on the skinny side

11. What was the last thing you ate? Pizza w/ Pepperoni, Bacon, & Mushroom

12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? I would love to, but can't

13. The last sporting event you watched? really watched, I have no clue. I catch snippets of things that the hubs watches though - football, UFC, Nascar

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? Kettle

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? Kendra

16. Ever go camping? yeppers - it's a good time

17. Do you take vitamins daily? much to my mothers chagrin, no

18. Do you go to church every Sunday? Not like I use to - Ducky wouldn't go to the child care and she is too noisy for the Sanctuary - so I listen to it online!

19. Do you have a tan? NO, pasty white for me

20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza? depends on my mood - I have been craving Chinese

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? only when out

22. What did your last text message say? it was a joke/picture message

23. What are you doing tomorrow? Working

24. Favorite color? Purple, blue-green

25. Look to your left; what do you see? The door that leads to the stairs that goes upstairs

(as you can see, I am wishy-washy. Why have only one favorite when there are so many things out there to try and like!)

Have a GREAT Sunday!

Halloween

I sucked it up and took the girls Trick-or-Treating on Thursday night. It turned out to be a nice evening weather wise and the girls seemed to have fun. Please ignore the messy house (damn working full time) and blurry pictures (trying to run after the heathens girls).
What is great, I didn't spend a dime for the costumes this year!!! Goose's Princess dress was one of her dress-up ones and Ducky's Cheerleading outfit was a gift several years ago (yes I am a hoarder).

Happy Halloween Everyone!!!

Have fun & be safe!

Faithful Friday

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. Philippians 1:6, NLT

Do you sometimes feel as though you aren't making progress in your spiritual life? When God starts a project, he completes it! As with the Philippians, God will help you grow in grace until he has completed his work in your life.

When you are discouraged, remember that God won't give up on you. He promises to finish the work he has begun. When you feel incomplete, unfinished, or distressed by your shortcomings, remember God's promise and provision. Don't let your present condition rob you of the joy of knowing Christ or keep you from growing closer to him.

Friday Confessional Take 3

Fridays around here mean two things, I get to post a Faithful Friday Bit and I also start a Friday Confessional.

First confession of this post - I wonder if people really enjoy this!?

We are on take 3 of this confessional and response was eh, lukewarm. Of course this could be because of the awesome BLerapy Day that was started.

If you like the idea of the confessional, please play along. If you have any suggestions, PLEASE let me know. I am all about constructive criticism!

A housekeeping item:
1. Confessions must NOT contain anything ILLEGAL (ie: murder)

TO PLAY

Create a post on your site displaying the lovely Friday Confession Cartoon, link back to here, and leave a comment with your info. *I'm doing away with Mr Linky until there is more of a request for* (If anyone would like use of Mr Linky - I would be willing to share so you can create your own - I splurged and bought the silver membership -$5 - which was paid for by taking a survey - woot woot)

OR

Post your confession in my comments - whether you are signed into your account or as anon. It would be great if you did this route, if you could at least put the fun Friday Confession Cartoon on your site saying you posted a confession over here.

Easy as making a poor innocent child pee his pants on Halloween?!

____________________

I confess that -

* I have a stack of stats to put in at work - and I don't want to

* I really dislike dragging the girls around for Trick-or-Treat

* I should be cleaning as I am creating this post

* I haven't lost any more weight because of my friends Mt Dew and Sweet Tea

* I shouldn't but I am going to buy some kick ass boots and jeans for the Buckeye Bash


Now ... WHAT DO YOU WANT TO CONFESS??????????

Suck n Blow

Since so many of you were asking my opinion on my Dyson I thought I would write a quick post. Yes, I know I emailed several of you directly, tough toenails for you - skip this part and check out the blow part of the post. Reminder, this is just my opinion, and I am in no shape or form telling anyone not to buy one.

I bought my Dyson at the end of 2004 and obviously if I am still using it, it can't be TOO bad. I was mesmerized by the suction that Mr Dyson kept touting. If it was that good, man I could have a furless house and pets. (at this time we had 2 dogs and 3 cats in the house) I started talking about it at work and a few of the nurses said they LOVED their Dyson and couldn't imagine any other vacuum. Hhmmm, this made me want to jump on the band wagon even more so - yet I still wasn't too sure I wanted to shell out the money. One of my coworkers offered to bring hers over so I could try it - SWEET. She unloaded it and I started to play with all the features. First I {loved} the yellow, but ooo I could get it in purple too. Then there was the fantastic handle - I couldn't get over how wonderful it was that the hose was actually the handle and there was no stopping or unhooking, unsnapping, or any other of the "old" ways. I was sold. Never mind the fact I never actually test drove the actual vacuum - I had to have one. (Yes I am easy) Once I got my shiney new Dyson home I had to break it in. Oh wow, look at all the dirt in the collection cup - eewwww GROSS. At this time, we had carpet thru out our home and I never really noticed if it left anything behind or not. I was still amazed at the crap in the cup. However, since moving into a home that has the original hardwood floors thru out most of it, I am noticing that this baby doesn't pick up or suck as promised. Yes I have had it cleaned and maintenanced and it still doesn't perform as well as one picked up at Wal-Mart for under $100.

So the long story short on this is, if you really are interested in purchasing a Dyson, beg, borrow, steal one from a friend or family member first. Just remember to really try out the function that is most important to you. You never know, you may like it way more than I do!

- - -

This year Trick or Treating is going to BLOW if it rains or is nasty. In inclement weather, we have always had the option of going to a local nursing home/assisted living. Well due to the wonderful H1N1 epidemic they are canceling Trick or Treat there. Ggrrrr, I always hope for bad weather so that we can go there. It is all enclosed and I think the interaction with the elderly and confined is fantastic. Both parties benefit from this - the residents LOVE the kids and company - the children learn how important it is to be caring and maybe even a little empathy (okay maybe that is just wishful thinking)

I understand why they are not having it, but it really, really blows.

Has anyone else's Halloween/Fall/Autumn activities been effected by H1N1?

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Be sure to check back tomorrow for Friday Confessional!

Swift Kick

I am a firm believer that we all need a swift kick in the arse sometimes.

We get wrapped up in our own lives and our own problems that we forget that in the grand scheme of things, is whatever we are worrying about really important?

Tuesday as I was replaying what went down Monday, a coworker just looked at me and point blank said "and how is that working for you? is your worrying and guilt really doing you or Goose any favors?" Oh My Goodness, she was right, my worry, my guilt was/is not doing either one of us good.

You want to know what is wonderful? (well even if you didn't you still are going to find out!) This person said something I really didn't want to hear in a way that made perfect sense and didn't make me feel like a total loser. No guilt. No pressure to listen to what she thought I needed to do.

Thanks to this coworker and several of your comments, I am looking at Goose's counseling as a blessing. This will hopefully bring more peace for her at school and on the home front. I also am *trying* not to put too much of the blame on myself.

If you have friends or acquaintances that can tell it how it is, treasure them, for they are definitely keepers.

**** I would like to share with you all a wonderful post by Tami G of Every Day in Gray - one of my newest followers. I went to her site today -Tuesday- (as you should with any new follower/commenter) and was shocked to fine a very similar post to the one that I had started to form in my mind. I find it amazing and humbling to know that many of us out in bloggy world encounter similar epiphanies.

Make it a great day!

XO

But you are a shield around me, O LORD; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head. Psalm 3:3 NIV

Post It Note Tuesday

Thanks to SupahMommy I am participating in Post It Note Tuesday - again. This is sort of addicting! If you want to play or just want to see more wonderful things, head on over to her site!

Have a wonderful Tuesday!

I HATE THIS

I HATE THIS. I HATE THIS. I HATE THIS. can I scream it one more time??? I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My 5 year old is very, VERY strong willed to say the least. She gets something in her mind and there is no changing it (I wonder where she gets that from)

Here I am, thinking that things are going okay (believe me I know better than to think that they are perfect) because each day when I ask how school was I would be told "great mom I was on green." (Green = good; yellow = cautious behavior; red = trouble) At the beginning of the school year there was a few things that needed ironed out - the teacher sent home a note once and there was one phone conversation. Since then I have heard nothing - until tonight.

Earlier in the evening I had missed a call from the school and they didn't leave a message - warning bell number one. This was at 445 and when I tried to call back 5 minutes later, there was no one to answer the office line (of course). I knew that something wasn't kosher, but I was not going to worry about it. Well then just a little bit ago my phone rang again - school's number. CRAP. It was the elementary principal (warning bell number 2). CRAP CRAP CRAP

It seems that lil Miss Goose has been having issues with authority and the word NO. It also seems that she likes to tell tall tales - that are obviously tall. Therefore, she will be going into a special counseling program at the school. They will be teaching her the skills she needs to survive school (such as respecting authority & following directions). You want to know what is ironic about this - I use to work in a group home teaching delinquent youth these exact same skills.

It breaks my heart to know that my child is struggling. I am placing the blame on me - this child has been through SO MUCH the last six months, and the majority of it was my fault. I let someone in our lives that then decided to just leave - she crys 3 or 4 nights a week because she misses her. Then there are my mental issues - and her being afraid I won't ever come back or be there when she gets home. (the poor child saw me being taken away in the ambulance this summer)

Right before going to bed tonight she told me that she wishes she could go back to preschool because she misses everyone there and how things were.

I HATE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS - Weekly Wisdom - how fitting this one is

We can be joyful at all times not because we are spared affliction but because we are completely satisfied in Christ.

Jesus promises that we will suffer. In Matthew 10:17-18, Jesus warns his followers, "Be on your guard against men; they will hand you over to the local councils and flog you in their synagogues. On my account you will be brought before governors and kings as witnesses to them and to the Gentiles." Although that quote may seem distant or irrelevant to Christians today, the point remains that, in the words of Christ, "if the head of the house [Jesus himself] has been called Beelzebub, how much more the members of his household!"

Not only does Jesus promise that believers must suffer, the Apostle Paul assures us that the path to being an heir of God demands sharing in the sufferings of Christ (Romans 8:17). Similarly, Paul writes this to those in the church at Philippi: it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on him, but also to suffer for him (Philippians 1:29).
Clearly, we, as Christians, will not be spared affliction. (In addition to the Scriptures above, see Acts 9:15-16, Philippians 3:10-11, and 1 Timothy 1:8-9.)

Despite being assured affliction and suffering, Christ-followers can be joyful nonetheless.
We can be joyful not by creating a bubbly-faced facade of happiness to hide reality but rather by confidently knowing that, in the face of immense sin and suffering, we are secure in Christ. Why fear and be saddened by those who can only kill the body when you're protected by Him who can keep you from hell (Luke 12:4-7)? Or, to put it positively, rejoice that you have received the Holy Spirit, who guarantees your eternal salvation—and thus, your eternal joy (2 Corinthians 1:21-22).

The faith that justifies is the very same faith that satisfies. Saving faith satisfies us by weaning us from the short-lived satisfaction of sin to ultimate satisfaction in Christ.

Thus, despite the fact that suffering will come even—or, perhaps, especially—to us who profess faith in Christ, we can have great joy not because we are spared affliction but because we are completely satisfied in Christ.

Gadgetless

It is AMAZING how free I have felt being cell phone free during work hours. *shush you Crackberry n IPhone addicts - I still have my personal computer to play on during breaks*

Up until a year ago, my cell would only ring or beep during work hours if it was an emergency or a doctor's office. Then a friend came into my life and she would text nonstop - and if you didn't answer, then OMG you didn't like her or you were mad. I started to get in the habit of keeping my phone in my pocket or tucked into my bra strap so that I could stay in constant contact. I was also guilty of encouraging this day time chatter because I swear I have undiagnosed adult ADD. I have to be doing at least 2 things at one time in order to really get much of anything accomplished.

The point I was trying to make is that I didn't realize how much of a nuisance that damn cell phone is!!!! Last Friday and today I have left it sit in my desk drawer and it is so nice to not have that added weight and burden to carry around (literally and figuratively). Now don't get me wrong, I couldn't go without my EnV3 - it is the only phone I own, but to not have to carry it around, to not have to check it every 10 minutes is wonderful.

What technical gadget could you do without or already go with out??

On The Inside

Some of you may remember me wanting to run away a couple weeks ago - then I found this song. I have listened to it daily since - so why not share here also.

This is a bonus song from Leave This Town by Daughtry




Lyrics:
Your life is like a crack in the mirror
Seven years of bad luck it ain't getting better now
Not till all is said and done
Reflection in the window is the same old face
Background small town everywhere you look around
Tell me what you're runnin from

Flip a coin and let it land in your hand
Heads you gonna stay but its tails

So you can move to another town
Hide where you're sure you wont be found
But its still just you on the inside
You can pretend it'll be alright
Said it to yourself but you know its just a lie
Cause its still just you on the inside

Still you on the inside...

Nothin faster than the speed of your leavin
A hundred miles an hour and there ain't no slowin down
But you can't outrun yourself
Hey you can say you fit in like a joker in the deck
But now you're skipping like a broken record goin round
You're the last to ask for help
You flip a coin and let it land in your hand
Heads you gonna stay but its tails

So you can move to another town
Hide where you're sure you wont be found
But its still just you on the inside
You can't pretend it'll be alright
Said it to yourself but you know its just a lie
Cause its still just you on the inside
Still you on the inside

Its never really been a question of how far
And at the end of every destination there you are

You can move to another town
Hide where you're sure you won't be found
But its still just you on the inside
You can pretend it will be alright
No matter how you sell it
When you tell it its a lie
Cause its still just you on the inside
Still you on the inside (You can go and change and to me you'll always be the same)
Still you on the inside (You can try and run and know you'll always be the same inside)
Still you on the inside (You can go and change and to me you'll always be the same)
Still you on the inside (You can try and run and know you'll always be the same inside)
Still love you on the inside.

One of my favorites

What is better on a Sunday than the comics?? The one day of the week where they are printed in color - and they alway seem more humorous. I remember as a kid just chomping at the bit to get to the comics.

As an adult, I "love" For Better or For Worse. I go online weekly to get my fix since we no longer subscribe to a newspaper. There is one from May 08 that made me weep when I read it. I could relate so much with it and then I thought "When did I become like that?" Here is the strip in all it's glory:

What is your favorite comic?

XO

PS I had to re-write some of this. When I previewed last night it was ok, then when I came back to re-view it was jacked up. Bullshine. Have a great Sunday everyone.

Thank You

I felt that this was owed - no well deserved - to my faithful followers.

Many of you came when I was my witty self and were kind enough to follow me. Then my emotional crazy self came and reared it's ugly head. Because of this, I have a feeling that some of my followers have decided to just skip over my posts instead of doing the bloggy folly of un-follow - and that is fine, I don't blame you.

Some of you have stuck with me through this - and I really want to express my gratitude. Your comments and concern meant the world - and how sad is that??? But alas it is the truth. You my dear readers have fulfilled a missing part of my life. I crave for a way to express how I really am feeling and not be judged. Because I normally don't let people get close to me, my IRL friends are at minimal. You all are like going to a MOMS group or playdate, but fit into my hectic schedule a lot easier.

There are days that I think about securing my blog again - making it by invite only. Then I remembered why I opened it up. What I am going through is real life - not everyone has the picture perfect life they paint. If I am able to touch one person (why does that sound perverted?) and help them understand it is okay to be not perfect. If I am able to spread the word that depression happens - it is nothing to hide from. Then all this is worth it.

Thank you again to all my lovely followers - I really appreciate you sticking this out with me! Oh and you lurkers too.

XOXO

Faithful Friday - Lord, if you are willing

Luke 5:12-13 - Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean
While Jesus was in one of the towns, a man came along who was covered with leprosy. When he saw Jesus, he fell with his face to the ground and begged him, "Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean." Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. "I am willing," he said. "Be clean!" And immediately the leprosy left him. (NIV)

To be covered with leprosy was a grotesque site. This man had undoubtedly become accustomed to rejection. He projects this rejection upon Jesus when he says, "if you are willing..." Notice how Jesus responds directly to his pain, "I am willing", then he reaches past his rejection and touches him.

What have we projected upon our Lord? Maybe our own rejection? Stinginess? Anger? Jesus is still stretching out His hand to touch our uncleanness. Jesus Christ came to reveal the Father, and that true understanding will cleanse us of the misconceptions that we have thrust upon Him.

Friday Confessional

Well here we are again - Friday, oh sweet Friday!

Fridays around here mean two things, I get to post a Faithful Friday Bit and I also start a Friday Confession. Last week was my first week running the Confessional, and well, it wasn't too successful. BUT that is to be expected. Friday Confessions was not well advertised and I am a newbie.

So we are going to try this yet again. If you like the idea, please play along. If you have any suggestions, PLEASE let me know. I am all about constructive criticism!

A few housekeeping items:
1. Confessions must NOT contain anything ILLEGAL (ie: murder)
2. Well really there is just the one housekeeping item, 1 just looked lonely sitting there all by itself.

TO PLAY

Create a post on your site displaying the lovely Friday Confession Cartoon, link back to here, and sign in with Mr Linky.

OR

Post your confession in my comments - whether you are signed into your account or as anon. It would be great if you did this route, if you could at least put the fun Friday Confession Cartoon on your site saying you posted a confession over here.

Easy as making a cake, don't ya think?!

____________________

So here goes nothing:

* Out of frustration of my husband's spending habits, I have purchased Starbucks WAY more than I should

* After reviewing the last week or so posts, I feel as though I have got caught up in blog carnivals

* Then after said realization, I go and create another carnival

* Part of me wishes my OBGYN wouldn't have so readily agreed to do the Novasure Ablation this past July

* I feel horrible for thinking the above - I am lucky to have 2 wonderful daughters and no more constant monthly (seriously it was a never ending monthly)

Now ... WHAT DO YOU WANT TO CONFESS??????????

Explanation

I took down my last post, then put it back. I don't know what to do with it. It happened. I was sinking. I am sinking. Do I keep it up to broadcast it? Do I take it down and pretend it didn't happen??

I want to share with some of my newbies that may not have read some of my original posts. I suffer from major depression - I will be on some form of medicine the rest of my life. I am okay with that. For the most part the medicine does its job and I am ..... okay. We had to switch my medicine within the last 6 months because, well, I was going through a really rough spot. I had an official diagnosis of Adjustment Disorder. At that time I was hospitalized (which SUCKED because it was at the hospital I work at & I seem to know a lot of people) because I just couldn't cope any more. I took a handful+ of Tylenol PM because I wanted to go to sleep and it all be over with. At that time, I had been on the new medicine about 2 weeks - and if you know anything about medicine, it really wasn't long enough to see full effects. I went into counseling to deal with what caused me to have the adjustment disorder and was released because I am as over that part of my life as I will ever be.

However this morning I admitted to someone how lonely I really am and it brought on a flood of emotions. To know that you can be surrounded by people and be lonely is a horrible feeling. I realized that it had been several months since someone had asked me how I was doing and just as long since I had a hug that wasn't given in hopes of getting some. (sorry B, but it's the truth) I unfortunately didn't have work to distract me since I have been off the last couple days and the feelings and emotions overwhelmed me.

(B if you are reading this, stop right now because you are not going to like reading this)
I feel as though I am stuck. Stuck in a marriage that won't work - not for not trying either. Stuck in a life that is bound to be ...... I don't know what I want to say.

Thank you to the ones who commented and offered support on my sinking post.

PS - The medicine has kicked in - it does it's job - I function, which is the most important thing. I have set up an appointment next week to deal with these emotions I have been repressing.

XOXO

im sinking

I will be MIA, save the scheduled Confession post.

I'm sinking and I don't know what else to do ...........

the tears wont stop
the pain wont stop

sometimes you forget

Last night was a rough night for a couple reasons.

On the home front, Mr BM was acting like a school girl who was back stabbed. Standoffish, snide comments {"Well I guess I am just too stupid to do XYZ" was heard a couple times}, and I swear if his hair was long enough there would have been a flip or two.

Finally I had enough and asked what had crawled up his bum. He was POd that I had shared he whined this past weekend. Seriously??? You are upset because of that? I could have probably shared a lot worse, but I chose to vent on the one thing most of my female readers could relate to. It's not like I am putting our sex life, or lack thereof, (naught for him trying) on here.

What the above ramble brought to light is sometimes you forget how your words can effect others. It also showed me that you sometimes forget (yes it is possible to do so) EVERYONE has feelings. My simple, innocent, vent hurt him. He felt as I was betraying his trust. My rock actually can't take all the abuse thrown at it. It wasn't until I explained to him that if I don't vent, all the little things will add up and I will explode that he calmed down.

The other issue of the evening is I chose to go to a blog I had not read since the beginning of the month. It is the home of many thoughts and feelings of a person who use to be in my life. This is where you go if you really want to know how this person is feeling. It is also the home to many hurt feelings on my part. There was once a post that brought me to tears when I was on a mini-vacation with someone who I thought was my best friend. This post came right out and said I was using this friend - and it was her post that started this whole blog.

Anyways, I digressed yet again. I visited the blog because I know this person is hurting, and I knew that she would post how she honestly was feeling. She did - and now I feel even worse than I did before. Yesterday morning I finally put my thoughts of the last year into maybe 6 sentences and shared them with her. And although she says what I said wasn't new to her, I can't help but feel that with those words I help put her on a path that I was trying to help her avoid. I know many of you are reading this going "WHAT IS SHE TALKING ABOUT?!?" but I will not go into more details. Here again is proof that our words can effect others.

Please let us all be aware of what comes out of our mouths and how it makes others feel.

FTR - If you are snarky, I respect that and don't expect you to change. Just be aware of what is said and that some things are better off unsaid.