Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Holding on by a Thread

What do you do when you have a friendship that is just being held together by one little thread??

You are at different points in your lives.

You don't have the same goals.

It's a struggle to find commonality.

And when that thread is tested and pulled tighter than ever before what happens??

Do you let it snap & say ef it?

Do you get out the clear nail polish and try to fix it?

Do you just bless & release?

I think I am at the point of bless & release.  I will always love them, but I think that it is time to set the friendship back out to the sea of time.  We returned once to each other & maybe we will again. If not, we will always have the memories.


5thsister said...

Aw, MJ. I know it hurts but when a friendship becomes toxic it is time to let go. I have had to do this a couple of times in my own life. It is hard because there is a history there but it is necessary for your own sanity. God bless and good luck on this one.

HeatherLynn said...

Friendship, like any relationship is supposed to be a blessing, NOT a curse. When a relationship becomes a negative thing in your life, you have to question it's purpose....the point.

I mean, friendship is supposed to be a happy thing, not something that makes you miserable, or tortured. Sure, there are speed bumps along the way, but there SHOULDN"T be complete nuclear meltdowns.

My best friend and I have been at odds with each other in the past, but nothing we couldn't get past, so the real question is, is this something you can get past, WANT to get past with this person, if the answer is no, then it's time to release it like a helium balloon....let her fly.

I leave you with this: “A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.”


Tina said...

I second what 5th Sister and HeatherLynn said. I've had to do this before and it's HARD. But I'm thinking that if you're thinking of the blessing and letting go, then it's definitely the right thing. When things are right, we don't even entertain this thought.

Helene said...

Oh I feel your pain. I've had to do this time and again and sometimes the path you're choosing is best, even though it's painful nonetheless.

If the friendship is meant to be, you'll find each other again when the timing is right to become reacquainted again.

Thank you for leaving such thoughtful comments on my blog in reference to the nasty comments left by "BFF"!

Jenn Erickson said...

MJ, excellent topic. I think it's something we all face at some point in our lives. When I was in my twenties, I had a friend from college that had a lot of problems that were constantly bringing a lot of negativity and strife into our relationship. I tried to hang in, be a good friend, and be supportive, but found that her illnesses were making me ill also. I made the choice to end the friendship. I was honest and up front about the fact that I wanted to sever ties and feel good about having done that, even though I know it was still painful for her. I was on the receiving end of a friendship termination about two years ago. I was closer to this person than anyone else in my life (except my husband). She was more like a sister, and our children even called us "Auntie". She, too, had some inner demons, and through the years they began to manifest, and are what I believe caused her to drift. It really, really, hurt, nonetheless. What hurt the most was that she never had the courage to show me the respect and courtesy and saying goodbye or giving me a reason why she felt the friendship had run its course. My advice to anyone considering ending a friendship would be show the friend the kindness of saying goodbye and not giving them reason to question, to wonder, and bask in self doubt.

Erin said...

I've also had to do this and it's no picnic to be sure. The others have given wonderful insights here, too....