No words

Today, as I was walking into one of the departments I work with, I caught a glimpse of a male in our signature blue-green scrubs.  I paused, backed pedal just a couple steps & stared.  It was like that moment when you come to an unknown intersection and you need to make a quick decision.  What do I say?  What do I do? 

For you see, it WAS the male co-worker who unexpectedly lost his wife  3(+/-) weeks ago.  This is his second week back to work & my first time seeing him since the day the accident happened.  I can still hear him saying "wassup" in his fun, laid back manner merely hours before his life changed.  Yet the man I saw today wasn't him.  There was no smile, there was no "wassup."  You could literally see that he lost his soulmate and no words could provide the comfort needed today.  No words could let him know how much I wish it wasn't him having to go thru this.  No words were spoken but a quick "oh hunny" to let him know I recongnized him and then let a hug do all the talking for us.



The feelings that transpired in that one hug, that only lasted a mintue but seemed like 10, can not easily be put into words. 
It felt like I was holding onto a young boy who lost his one and only true love.  Which is exactly what happened, for this couple WERE that high school couple who married after school AND stayed together.  You could feel the love, you could SEE the love between them. 
But most importantly,  I felt like I left a little bit of my hope and strength with him (& I wish I could have left more)

realization

thanks google for the image

Ok, being bluntly honest here, but I could absolutely see how someone could become an alcoholic.



 Drink One = Relaxed
Drink Two = Numb

Then you wake up to reality and just want to do it all over again.  Over time I'm sure it would take more than the two drinks to hit numb and so the cycle begins. 

Loss for Words

yep, you read the title right.  I am at a total loss for words.

I have NEVER had someone that payed enough attention to the words spoken, and unspoken, to know what I am truly feeling.  Wait that is a false statement.  I never HAD someone do that until recently.

There is a wonderful couple that I have found to be like family to me.  Seriously, the wife and I are like long, lost soul sisters and her husband (HH) is just one big ol' teddy bear.  For being of the male species, I am surprised at how well he listens and gives advice - if I didn't know betterI would think that he was .... gay. 

Anyways ....

A couple weeks ago I recieved a message from HH saying that he was writing a song, for me!?!  ME!???  Ok, sure if you say so. 

Overnight he titled it "Waiting for my Rainbow"  and just last night I received a preview of what to expect.  TEARS were flowing.  HOW did he do it?? How did he capture my thoughts and put them in a song, then SING it so that I feel the emotion? 

I am the luckiest girl around right now, that's for sure

THANK YOU

I wanted to say THANK YOU to all that have continued to read what I have to say even though I disappeared for awhile.  I also owe a HUGE thank you to Tina & blueviolet  these wonderful girls keep coming back and commenting even though I have been a HORRIBLE blogger and not returned the favor or even responded to their comments.

I have to admit that I wasn't sure if I wanted to get back into blogging.  I feel as though what I have to say isn't the most interesting stuff in the world.  Also, the drama that my site created when I started blogging was enough to deter me from even wanting this outlet.  Then there is my attention span - I mean come on, I didn't even finish the 30 day challenge!!   PLUS I must admit a dirty little secret, I "love" facebook because it allows me to post my random thoughts right then and there AND I don't even have to give a prelude as to where the thought comes from!

THEN I stop and think about all the good that has came from this site.  I met a wonderful woman from right here in my town - someone that had it not been for blogger I would prob never met  (yes you HeatherLynn).  Then there is Holly ... dear sweet Holly of This woman absolutely rocks as does her IRL friend Jenn of . THANK YOU GIRLS!

Oh and Polly dear, I miss our chats and exchanges - I still read, but because of my teetering on the fence of what to do here I stopped commenting. 

I have to admit, I am afraid of putting myself out there again. I'm not sure if I can do it, but for those of you who continue to read and support me