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As I have been evaluating my life, I realize that a lot of my disappointments have stemmed from my expectations. I want things to go a certain way & when they don't, I am left feeling deflated like a day old helium balloon.
I don't know about you, but I would much rather not feel empty, wanting, pissed off, etc. So how was I to do that?
Lower my expectations!
My expectations for myself & others always seemed to linger in the top third of the Limbo poles. There was sooo much room under the set bar that it would be hard for anyone to touch it. In Limbo, that is a good thing, in expectations, not so much. When I realized what was happening, I immediately lowered the bar for family, friends, & co-workers. Finally they were able to reach the bar & I wasn't left feeling resentment or disappointment!!!
I am still working on lowering the bar for myself - that is a hard one to do though because I am a people pleaser. If something goes wrong I feel as if I am a failure because I didn't try my hardest. If I let someone down, I will do whatever I can to make it right. When I catch myself in this mode, I take a moment to reflect on how high the bar is, and then I lower it a notch or two.
It is like any habit, it will take a long time to keep the bar at the lower level. I will slip up & set it too high for myself (and probably others too). But now that I am aware of this, I will hopefully be able to control my reaction & not feel like that deflated balloon - void of the gas that it needs to keep floating & bobbing merrily along it's path.
2 comments:
I disagree never go down to other peoples level, bring them up to yours, or your values will be left wanting??
You shouldn't lower your standards of how you would expect to be treated but I see where you would feel like it's easier. PLEASE just get away from the negative people as much as possible. There are good people out there, I swear!
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