Monday, July 27, 2009


I am tired of:
* people assuming that I am not over T. She was a very important part of my life, but she is gone. I realize this. Doesn't mean I don't care about her tho.
* people thinking that I was the only one with "those" feelings
* being accused of using my depression/anxiety as a crutch
* my FIL trying to make me feel like crap
* trying to do what I think is right and being shot down

I made a mistake people, what do you want from me? I let someone sway me into thinking there was more to the situation than what there was. I let myself feel - am I wrong for doing so??? Seriously, I was not the only person involved - I wasn't the one who started the physical crap - Am I not allowed to have confused feelings?? I was at a point I didn't know what I wanted or who to turn to.

I just want to say FUCK YOU ALL - but I will continue to be the scapegoat. I will continue to be the one blamed - makes owning up to your mistakes seem like a bad idea sometimes.

* * * * * *
My Weekly Wisdom - don't know if I have shared this one or not but I am reminded of this:
You need both blessings and difficulties, because one without the other is neither.
People who live in affluence for all of life (such as many people in North America and Western Europe) can easily become so accustomed to wealth, blessings, and prosperity that they can easily forget what blessings they actually have. However, if those possessions are taken away, those people will certainly look at life with a new perspective, realizing how much they really had.
You don't realize how much you have until you don't have it anymore.
God knows the importance of balance; that is, the importance of having both blessings and difficulties. There are several scriptures that speak about this balance. For example in 1 Peter 4:13, we are told: Rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. Notice how we participate both in suffering and in joy.
Similarly, in 2 Corinthians 1:7, Paul wrote this to the church in Corinth: And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort. They experienced both suffering and comfort.
Don't become too comfortable with what you have, because when you forget that the things you have are a blessing from God and when you start to assume that they are guaranteed possessions, it is quite possible that God will take them away from you in order to teach you that you need both blessings and difficulties, because one without the other is neither.

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