Since meeting HL yesterday I have been doing ssooo much thinking and reflecting on the past year. I have made SO many mistakes and hurt so many people ~ not intentionally as everyone thinks I did, but it happened. (after re-reading this NO HL did not cause me to cry or think or reflect, it just worked out that way)
I can not get past the fact that I hurt people. I am one that hates hurting, and never really wants to see anyone else hurt. But because of my selfishness and downward spiral I tried to pull others down with me. How could I do that?? WHY would I do that???
Then I start to think about other things. How can someone say they care, then just walk out of your life like you mean nothing to them? Why was I chosen to go through this crap? Am I going to survive this or is my mask of confidence going to crack any second?? (well der, the mask must have broke if I'm crying, or maybe it is just trying to wash itself off)