Friday, December 18, 2009

Coughs, Tears, & Hhmmm


Goose is up with a coughing attack and I am waiting on our version of "liquid gold" (Phenergen with Codeine) to kick in so both of us can get some sleep.  This is the second night in a row that we have been up because of this and I am debating when to break down & take both girls to the doctors.  Yep, that's right Ducky is battling a cold also and I am pretty sure she has a bilat ear infection also.  (makes you want to be me right now doesn't it)

Because of the extra time awake, I have been thinking lots.  This is not a good thing because what I have been thinking about brings tears.  I miss my friend.  I shouldn't, but I do.  She has made it blatenly obvious she wants nothing to do with me, but I still miss the closeness and support.  I wrote about how losing your best friend felt to me back in November.  It really does suck because this person was able to complete my thoughts without me even being able to.  She also was able to tell what I was thinking and feeling just by looking at me.  *sigh*  What is even more sad, is that if she would call me and needed something, I would be there in a heartbeat.  I doubt if she would do the same for me, but I would for her without hesitation. 

What do you do when you feel lost??  With everything else that is going on, I need an IRL person that can be MY shoulder.  I think that next year is going to be harder than this one for many reasons.  I made up my mind about something and I am ready to follow through with it.  (Not that I don't {heart} all my bloggy friends, it's just that I am really going to need someone beside me.

4 comments:

5thsister said...

More love and hugs on their way! I remember when I lost my best friend. It was for the best, though, and it was actually my choice, for the friendship became toxic. We were growing in different directions. She drank, smoked, partied hard. I was about to deliver my 1st born and had other priorities. I tried to make amends a few years back because I am the godmother to her daughter. And now that I am a Catholic (her faith, too..I wasn't at the time of her child's birth) I wanted to be a true godmother in every sense of the role. I wrote a long letter to both the mother and her teenage daughter. Never heard back. Just as well but I am sorry to have lost the chance to be positive influence in a child's life

5thsister said...

PS I hope your daughters get better really quick!

Erin said...

I hope everyone feels better soon, including you.

Sorry I've been MIA. I am going through my own crap.

I am here for you, though---whenever you need me!

kys said...

I call that stuff "liquid gold" too. And we are out!

I hate that you don't have an IRL friend to lean on. I'm here whenever a blog buddy will do.