Self Diagnosis

Yeah, don't let a Psych major near the internet text books or she will try to diagnose herself.

I have an obsession with Personality Disorders - it couldn't be because I have one, no not at all.   I have always toyed with the idea that there is more to me than meets the eye (which is hard to believe, because there is alot of me to see).  Tonight I ran across for the umptenth million time information on Borderline Personality Disorder - it's like a beacon calling me to it.

Definition  Borderline personality disorder can be a distressing medical condition, both for the people who have it and for those around them. When you have borderline personality disorder (BPD), you have difficulty controlling your emotions and are often in a state of upheaval — perhaps as a result of harmful childhood experiences or brain dysfunction.
With borderline personality disorder your image of yourself is distorted, making you feel worthless and fundamentally flawed. Your anger, impulsivity and frequent mood swings may push others away, even though you yearn for loving relationships.

Symptoms  Borderline personality disorder affects how you feel about yourself, how you relate to others and how you behave.

When you have BPD, you often have an insecure sense of who you are. That is, your self-image or sense of self often rapidly changes. You may view yourself as evil or bad, and sometimes may feel as if you don't exist at all. An unstable self-image often leads to frequent changes in jobs, friendships, goals, values and gender identity.

Your relationships are usually in turmoil. You often experience a love-hate relationship with others. You may idealize someone one moment and then abruptly and dramatically shift to fury and hate over perceived slights or even minor misunderstandings. This is because people with the disorder have difficulty accepting gray areas — things are either black or white. For instance, in the eyes of a person with BPD, someone is either good or evil. And that same person may seem good one day and evil the next.

Other signs and symptoms of borderline personality disorder may include:

*  Impulsive and risky behavior, such as risky driving, unsafe sex, gambling sprees or taking illicit drugs

*  Strong emotions that wax and wane frequently (check)

*  Intense but short episodes of anxiety or depression (check)

*  Inappropriate anger, sometimes escalating into physical confrontations (check)

*  Difficulty controlling emotions or impulses (check)

*  Suicidal behavior (check)

*  Fear of being alone (check)


Complications  Borderline personality disorder can damage many areas of your life. Interpersonal relationships, jobs, school, social activities and self-image all can be negatively affected. Repeated job losses and broken marriages are common. Self-injury, such as cutting or burning, can result in scarring and frequent hospitalizations. Suicide rates among people with BPD are very high, reaching 10 percent to 15 percent.

In addition, you may have other mental health problems, including:

*  Depression (check)

*  Substance abuse

*  Anxiety disorders (check)

*  Eating disorders (check in college)

*  Bipolar disorder

*  Other personality disorders

Because of risky, impulsive behavior, you are also more vulnerable to unplanned pregnancies, sexually transmitted diseases, motor vehicle accidents and physical fights. You may also be involved in abusive relationships, either as the abuser or the abused.


Well no flippin wonder I am such a nut case!  hhmmm, I will have to keep reading to see what else may be wrong with me.