Wednesday, June 3, 2009


Why does it seem like when you give your heart to someone, even just a friend, it gets ripped to shreds???

Yeah you guessed right, my heart has been broken by a friend ... well ex-friend now I guess. I would of done anything for this person, she was like a sister. I did do anything, including jeopardizing my marriage because I wanted to be there for her. And now I am left with a big gaping hole.

Why does it have to be this way??? Why?

I am the first one to admit I'm not perfect and I know I did things wrong in this friendship. I apologized and tried to find a way to make it up. But when you are shut out, how can you make something right??

For those of you that don't know, I do have a chemical imbalance and will be on medicine the rest of my life. Well for 2 to 3 weeks I was taking a different manufacturer and for some reason it made me crazy. I mean like I literally could of jumped off a bridge and could care less crazy. I finally received my 90 day supply and it was a different manufacturer again and within 2 days I was feeling like the old me. I tried to explain this to the friend and I don't know if she ever really understood how sorry I was for my actions during that time.

This is why it hurts. Because this person was someone I felt that knew me and cared for me no matter what, and it turns out I was being judged and a score card kept. Maybe I am wrong, but this is what it seems like from my side.

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