Ah-Ha!

As I was reading Woman's Day on break I had an Ah-Ha moment! For months now, I have been trying to write a blog about disappointment and I just could not finish it - I know why now. It is not the disappointment that I really wanted to focus on, it is the stress that goes with it!

here is a snippet of the article: 10 Surprising Causes of Stress By Sally Stich

Most of us simply dismiss little things as “just the way life is.” But they are, in fact, major causes of potentially harmful stress.

“For some people, the little stressors we face every day are more damaging to health over the long term than the really big things, like a death in the family or a car accident,” says James Ehrlich, MD, clinical associate professor of endocrinology at the University of Colorado, Denver.
Why? “Because the sole purpose of stress hormones is to get us through life-threatening situations,” says Dr. Ehrlich. “Today, many people live in stress mode all the time, and the constant release of steroids like adrenaline and cortisol can lead directly to diseases like diabetes, heart disease, depression and cancer, and indirectly to bad health habits like undersleeping and overeating.”

Rather than dismiss these “minor” stressors, decide to face them, change them and move toward calm.

Stressor #1 People Who Say Yes When They Mean No
You have friends, maybe even colleagues, who say yes to your requests (a movie, a project, a walk) and then, as often as not, show up late or cancel at the last minute. These same people can be fun and even reliable sometimes. What’s up? Your stress level! “Research shows that ambiguous relationships— where you can’t predict whether an encounter will be positive or negative from one day to the next—can take a greater toll on you than a relationship with someone you consciously dislike,” says Elizabeth Scott, stress management guide for About.com.

Ding ding ding - we have a winner!!! I have been sitting here thinking about how despite worrying about our finances, I am not stressed like I had been the prior 9 months. Why?? Because a friend that is no longer in my life is the type they describe above. She would say yes to anything to please anyone, and not really mean it. Then "something" would come up and I would be hurt tremendously. Yeah, that is disappointment for you, but I didn't realize until this exact moment how much stress that put me under. The constant worrying about is today the day she is going to say "oops sorry" is not there. No worry about am I good enough for her today. You wouldn't think that it would matter, but in reality it really does - especially when you care for the person. It is behavior like this that makes you think am I really worth anything to the person - then you stress about that too.

So my blog about disappointment will be put on the back burner for yet another go-around.