Sunday, August 16, 2009


I can not sit still today - there is so much on my mind - and all I want to do is cry. I have been trying to hold myself together but the later in the day it gets the harder it is to do so.

I am tired of hearing all about my poor sister and how much better she did in school with no job and how they want to make sure she's happy since she moved out when she was in high school. Now that she is back in the home they have been kissing her ass. *my parents would do anything for any of us 3 kids, dont get me wrong, but I have a low tolerance right now and this has been grating on me*

Panic has set in over the changes - I have been trying to be strong for the girls, but I can't be. I am so worried about the babysitter and school starting. I need to keep myself medicated or drunk - and seeing how I can't go to work drunk medication it is.

The hole has been closing in and today it has almost sucked me in.


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