Day 4 almost complete and I must say that I wish I would have moved the girls to a home provider 6 months ago when I first looked into it. It may have prevented some of the crap – but I am not going there. I am thankful that I have found a WONDERFUL provider. My children are the most content that I have ever seen them. A just smiled and waved me away this morning, E is enjoying the individual attention she is getting. The extra mileage is worth it for the care and piece of mind!
I have been practicing my mantra for Tuesday – I will not cry, she is a big girl, I will not cry. I have to let her spread her wings and I can not let my worries hinder her. We have been talking daily about the changes that are coming and how awesome she will do – to see the smile on her face is worth everything!
I have been released from counseling; I have worked thru the issues at hand. She was a little concerned because of my feelings on Sunday; so if I have anymore of those types of days I am to call and she will work me in that day. Alot of my problem on that day was I wasn't communicating to B how agitated and nervous I was about all the changes coming up. Overall – the depressed mood has passed – I am ready to move on.
Tonight is going to be rough – we are going as an extended family to B’s G-Pa’s favorite restaurant to celebrate his birthday. It has been a little over 7 months since he has passed so I am sure that the emotions will be all over the board. I am putting my big girl panties on and going so that I can support B – I will be medicated though because if my FIL is a jerk as usual I do not want to take his bait.
Enough babbling from me – Love to all - oh and mom HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you!