Thursday, October 8, 2009

My Reflection

Today's post is brought to you by Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. To check her out, click on the lovely picture!

Today's assignment was something that really challenged me to be honest. Honest with myself and my readers. I could say that when I look in a mirror I see a 32 year old woman that is happy with her life, herself, or her body - but that would be a lie. The dialogue that goes on in my head when I do face the mirror could fill a notebook. Here is just a snippet of what goes through my head.

When I look in a mirror I see:

  • the fat little girl who cried herself to sleep
  • the lonely child who just wanted to fit in
  • an impostor
  • someone who didn't deserve a second chance
  • a horrible mother

These images are becoming fewer and farther between, allowing me to see glimpses of the beautiful woman everyone tells me I am. When my girls and I are laughing in the bathroom and I look up, I see her. When I have my power suit on, I see her.

Unfortunately, I know that I will always be too hard on myself, but my goal is to be able to see myself in a positive light 9o% of the time. It is assignments like this one that will help me get there. Writing down what you see is an eye opener because when you look in the mirror, you are seeing what your mind wants you to see and as you write you realize just how hard you are on yourself.

Norman Vincent Peale: One of the greatest moments in anybody's developing experience is when he no longer tries to hide from himself but determines to get acquainted with himself as he really is.


kyslp said...

You're so brave. I could have never chosen this prompt because I don't want to take myself there. Congrats on working towards your goal!

Life with Kaishon said...

I feel the same way that kyslp does. That prompt was just oo scary for me! and you know what, when men do it, it is totally and completely different. They aren't nearly as hard on themselves as we are : ) What is beautiful is that you are changing and focusing on being positive : ) That is the best!

junebug said...

Such a brave and great post. I love the quote. It is so true.

June Freaking Cleaver said...

For me, it helps to look at my friends. If THEY can love me, then I can kick the self-love up a notch...I can't be awful if other people have befriended me.

Charisse and Holly said...

Everyday I just want to jump through your blog and say...come be my friend. Love your usual it is honest and beautiful. Holly at

Gigi said...

MJ - thanks for stopping by today. What I posted is true - most of the time. But I can remember not too long ago when the negative-self talk ran through my brain all day long. It takes some doing but you can change the track.

MJ said...

Thank you all! As I told kyslp, this was a hard post, I think I started, then erased it 10 times at least.

Holly @ LLL - if I could have found a way to email you I would have. THANK YOU - your kindness is much appreciated. XOXO

Jennifer said...

I don't think anyone sees themself as everyone else does. I think we are all pretty hard on ourselves. It is nice when we can see a glimpse of the wonderful woman that everyone else sees.

Thanks for stopping by.

Erin M. said...

I think we'd all be great if we saw ourselves the way OTHERS see us.

I have never attempted Mama Kat's prompts because a lot of them seem too scary for me. And I'm not good at trying to be The Funny Girl.

It makes me sad that you see yourself this way. And it made me cry because a lot of it reminds me exactly of how I feel about myself.