Wednesday, October 21, 2009

sometimes you forget

Last night was a rough night for a couple reasons.

On the home front, Mr BM was acting like a school girl who was back stabbed. Standoffish, snide comments {"Well I guess I am just too stupid to do XYZ" was heard a couple times}, and I swear if his hair was long enough there would have been a flip or two. hair flip Pictures, Images and Photos

Finally I had enough and asked what had crawled up his bum. He was POd that I had shared he whined this past weekend. Seriously??? You are upset because of that? I could have probably shared a lot worse, but I chose to vent on the one thing most of my female readers could relate to. It's not like I am putting our sex life, or lack thereof, (naught for him trying) on here.

What the above ramble brought to light is sometimes you forget how your words can effect others. It also showed me that you sometimes forget (yes it is possible to do so) EVERYONE has feelings. My simple, innocent, vent hurt him. He felt as I was betraying his trust. My rock actually can't take all the abuse thrown at it. It wasn't until I explained to him that if I don't vent, all the little things will add up and I will explode that he calmed down.

The other issue of the evening is I chose to go to a blog I had not read since the beginning of the month. It is the home of many thoughts and feelings of a person who use to be in my life. This is where you go if you really want to know how this person is feeling. It is also the home to many hurt feelings on my part. There was once a post that brought me to tears when I was on a mini-vacation with someone who I thought was my best friend. This post came right out and said I was using this friend - and it was her post that started this whole blog.

Anyways, I digressed yet again. I visited the blog because I know this person is hurting, and I knew that she would post how she honestly was feeling. She did - and now I feel even worse than I did before. Yesterday morning I finally put my thoughts of the last year into maybe 6 sentences and shared them with her. And although she says what I said wasn't new to her, I can't help but feel that with those words I help put her on a path that I was trying to help her avoid. I know many of you are reading this going "WHAT IS SHE TALKING ABOUT?!?" but I will not go into more details. Here again is proof that our words can effect others.

Please let us all be aware of what comes out of our mouths and how it makes others feel.

FTR - If you are snarky, I respect that and don't expect you to change. Just be aware of what is said and that some things are better off unsaid.

9 comments:

ShellSpann said...

It's hard to remember that sometimes. I find myself blogging when I'm really pissed off and then I wonder if I should have waited till I calmed down. Luckily my boyfriend doesn't read my blog and I don't think I've bitched about him yet. But when the time comes, I'm glad that I have somewhere to vent without hurting his feelings.

SparkleFarkle said...

You are so right. Far too many times, I've regretted posting a sentiment that I have intentional deemed as an insignificant remark, just to give myself permission to "harmlessly" go on about someone or something, which then inevitably turns into a really NOT so "funny" at someone else's expense. Thanks for the Golden Ruley, gentle reminder, and to my sister-in-law: I'm sorry about all those blog-shots I took at your meatballs. From now on, I will just quietly gag them down.

SparkleFarkle said...

P.S. Love the Adam Lambert "flip"! Great seeing him again-- thanks!

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

I agree with you on that. I am always careful to make my hubby grievances as light as possible, so when he reads he laughs. Although, he is really too dumb to be angry!! Love the lambert flip!

Erin M. said...

You have very valid, good points. I should try to remember them more. I have blogged about my husband a few times, but typically only in the very extreme circumstances--and even then, I try to make it humorous rather than bitchy. And he doesn't read my blog. Not that that is an excuse....it's hard sometimes because my blog IS me.

kys said...

Hmmmmm...., I know, I know, I need to watch my mouth, er, fingers.

Sometimes I say or write things to vent and immediately feel better. I go on with life and forget the incident that preceded the vent.

But the recipient? He/she doesn't move on so quickly.

Charisse and Holly said...

Wise...very wise. Gosh...since I don't know the whole story I probably should keep my mouth shut right now...but I have a hard time with that so I'm going to say it anyways:) You have so many things on your plate. Going to that blog to help her, when you know her pattern is to hurt you, is not healthy. Vow to yourself not to do that again. Just delete the link. You can start over online with lots of people, like the faces above mine, that don't have the baggage, and want to encourage you. Ok...now I'm off of soap box. Have a great day. Holly at lifelaughlatte.blogspot.com

filmgirl said...

good points all...sometimes the blog lets people you forget are reading into your head and that's not always a good thing. actually, that was the reason I deleted my first blog despite it's success--I ran into two ex-boyfriends in the same night out at a bar, and they both started the conversation with me, "So I was reading your blog yesterday and..." but as writers, it's our job to expose ourselves...right? but yes, better to treat lightly sometimes.

Just A Mom (Call me JAM for short) said...

Someday I'm going to start another blog and not let my husband or ANYONE I know see it...

I'm sure, that would be my most popular blog with my internet friends!